by Chris Spicer, dad, grandad, international speaker and author

Anyone who knows me, Chris Spicer, Grandad of 8 rock-star children, knows my love of movies. Some of my personal favourites are those starring the late, great acting career of the Robin Williams. Films like Dead Poets Society (1989), Hook (1991), Patch Adams (1996) and August Rush (2007) to name but a few. Then there is our all-time family favourite, Mrs. Doubtfire (1993). A movie in which Williams plays the part of a divorced, out of work actor who disguises himself as Mrs. Doubtfire, an ageing female Scottish housekeeper. All this, in order to work in his ex-wife’s house and spend more time with their children. Initially going disastrously wrong, he does eventually find his way back into the family home so as to share joint custody of his much-loved children. 

The concluding scene of the movie has the ageing Scottish female character, played by Williams, securing the role of anchor-person in a popular TV children’s programme.

      Why do I mention this?

Because the closing moments of the movie has Mrs. Doubtfire, alias Robin Williams, reading a letter from one of his young viewers. It goes like this:

Dear Mrs. Doubtfire,

Two months ago, my mum and dad decided to separate. Now they live in separate houses. My brother Andy says we’re not going to be a family anymore. Is that true, did I lose my family? Is there anything I can do to get my parents back together?

Sincerely,

Katy McCormack

To which the caring character of Mrs. Doubtfire replies:

‘O my dear Katy, you know some parents when they are angry get along much better when they don’t live together. They don’t fight all the time and they can become better people and much better Mums and Dads for you. And sometimes they get back together and sometimes they don’t dear. And if they don’t, don’t blame yourself. Just because they don’t love each other anymore doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. There are all sorts of different families Katy. Some families have one Mummy, some families have one Daddy or two families. Some children live with their uncles or aunts, some live with their grandparents, some children live with foster parents. Some live in separate houses, separate neighbourhoods, in different areas of the country and may not see each other for days, weeks, months or even years at a time. But if there is LOVE dear, those are the ties that bind and you have a family in your heart forever.  

All my love to you Poppet. You’re going to be alright, bye, bye.

From Movie Fiction to a Fatherless Reality

In these closing sentences, the scriptwriter has managed to encapsulate the sad state of affairs faced by so many children within our Western society. For a long time now, young people, through no fault of their own are facing an uncertain future within a fatherless society. If proof were needed we only have to listen to the story of an American greetings card company that offered free Mother’s Day cards to inmates of a particular prison. The uptake was so heart-warming with the majority of the prisoner taking up the offer to send a free card to their mothers. Believing the idea was such an astounding success, they decided to repeat the exercise for Father’s Day. Yet not knowing or wanting to know the whereabouts of their biological fathers, the response to free Father’s Day cards was zero. 

So many children and adults struggle because they failed to experience a caring environment created by the presence of a loving father.

With this in mind, it’s not surprising that people struggle to comprehend the reality of the Judeo-Christian God being described as a loving heavenly father. Yet despite our past affecting our present more than ever, we live in an age in which young and old alike need to hear the message of the father heart of God.  

How can we communicate the Father heart of God when there are no Fathers?

We may have no frame of reference to equate the fact that the biblical Jesus is spoken of as a good and great Shepherd. But that said, we can accept the sentiment of the biblical Jesus being a caring individual who put his life on the line for lost humanity. So even if our natural experience of fatherhood falls woefully short, it does not diminish the biblical reality that the Christian God is a loving heavenly father.

Although our experience of fatherhood may be based on a poor role model of a divorced, distant, deceased or dysfunctional dad – humanity still needs to hear and Christianity has to share, the revelation of ‘Papa God.’ For He is an eternal being who has promised to never leave us or forsake us. Someone whose words can be trusted and whose love will never diminish no matter what we say or do.

Perhaps the prince or princess of all New Testament parables is that of The Prodigal Son. The story of a rebellious child who disrespected his family by demanding his inheritance before his father's death. Despised by his older brother the wayward son immediately sets off to a distant country where he wastes his entire legacy. The depth of his depravity was so dire that the Jewish audience would have gasped with shock and awe at the idea of a good orthodox Jewish boy could descend to such depths as to feed pigs. But it’s perhaps the prodigal's return that best portrays the epitome of a loving father.

Depicted as someone constantly looking and longing for the day when he could embrace his wayward child and enjoy a restored relationship.

If this biblical story, first told thousands of years ago, says anything to 21st-century society, it is the truth that there is a loving heavenly Father scanning the horizon of humanity for those wayward children returning home with the hope of entering into and enjoying a lasting relationship with a loving heavenly father.

How a Grandad can show the Father heart of God to his Grandchildren

This in part is the theme of my book, JJ & the Big Bend. Covering key issues like difference, diversity, bullying, and dysfunctional families. In the grand scheme of things, the Grandad figure is included for the sole purpose of displaying the fatherhood of God. Seen as someone who alone fully understands his grandson’s pain and listens intently to his struggles, Grandad Joe is for me the star of the story.

That the gate leading to Grandad’s study is always open, JJ has a way to access the open arms and listening ear of Grandad Joe.  In this, we see the essence of a loving heavenly father. A God who patiently waits for his wayward kids of all ages, to come home. Because for those who return with a repentant heart there is a loving heavenly Father waiting to throw his arms around them no matter what they have said or done.

Chris is a Christian leader with over fifty-year’s experience working with churches and learning centres throughout Europe, Africa and North America. As a published author and public speaker, Chris brings a wealth of experience to both secular and spiritual learning environments.

Chris is married to Tina and they have four adult children and eight rock-star grandchildren.