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Preparing our Kids – and Ourselves - for The Social Media World

Joanne Gilchrist

by Becky Sedgewick, Parenting for Faith

For most of us, our journey of parenthood starts with a tiny person handed to us. And our instinct is to protect them, keep them close and keep them safe from everything.

But we can’t do that. So what we do is to start to equip them to manage being out there in the world. It may start with going to nursery: we leave them with grandma for an hour so they get used to being away from us. Then they do a trial morning. We make sure they have the familiar comforter and then we let them go.

As they grow older, we prep them for school. There’s a visit and buying the uniform, but also the important conversations: this is your PE bag and this is your lunchbox. I’ll always be there to pick you up at 3 o’clock. God will be there too. You’ll make some new friends and if you see a lonely person, you can help them by playing with them.

And on and on it goes.

We’re good at this! We naturally teach our kids how to navigate the world well, helping them see who God is and what he does, so that one day they can fly the nest and live as responsible, balanced and contented adults in a world that isn’t always straightforward.

And that works because, by and large, we understand the world they are growing up in.

But what about … SOCIAL MEDIA?

Because even if we are pretty adept at using it ourselves, social media evolves incredibly quickly, and our children will inevitably be drawn into using it and be affected by it from an early age (see, for example, this most recent report from Ofcom which reports that 33% of 5-7-year-olds have social media profiles). This may feel like a world in which we know a lot less than our kids. We want them to be safe and happy in this world, but if we don’t know much about it, how can we help them?

There is lots of help out there for the practical stuff about being safe online as well as guides to apps and how to teach your child to use it well: for example internetmatters.org which provides a wealth of practical information for parents and carers.

But is there anything extra God might bring to this conversation?

For me, this is a bit like teaching your child road safety. You don’t teach them the details of how to stay safe on any route they might take. Instead you teach them general principles. Always use a crossing on a busy road. Look left and right. Don’t walk on the kerb. We’ll never be able to anticipate everything our kids might come across – or already know about – with regard to social media. But there are some key principles about who God is that can make all the difference as we teach our kids to navigate the tricky world of social media well.

1.    God loves us massively

God’s love for us is unconditional and never-ending. Because we are his children, he always wants the best for us. So when we engage with social media, he wants us to do it in a way that is good for us.

Some ideas to help you think about this with your children:

  • Frame your own use of social media, why you post what you do, how you decide which platforms to use, what prompted you to take a social media fast … where is God in this?  How has he guided you? Discover more about framing here.

  • Ask questions and start conversations – why do you think people follow social media crazes? Wow, what great fruit came from that social media campaign!  Hmmm, I’m not sure I’d like a picture of me like that to be posted online - what do you think?  OK, this app has a 13 age restriction on it. Why do you think that is?

  • Equip your children to think critically about what they see, read or hear.  Is it something God would want me to see/hear/feel/do?  Does this fit with what a loving parent would want for me?  Is this good for me? Philippians 4:8 can be a really helpful starting place.

 

2.    God wants others to know his love

God wants us to partner with him in sharing his love with others. Understanding this helps us think well about how we use social media.  It may also mean that sometimes we choose to stand out from the crowd, which may be difficult or costly.

Some ideas for you to explore with your children:

  • Consider what loving our neighbour as we love ourselves looks like on social media.  If I post a comment, will it build someone up or knock them down?  How does that affect what I ‘like’ or share?

  • Could you deliberately share God’s love via social media? For example, by supporting a campaign, by setting out to encourage others, by raising issues, by sharing posts that build people up or share God’s love and good news.

  • Equip your children and teens to be prepared to stand out in a tricky online world – where we are ‘in the world but not of it’.  Explore stories from the Bible of people who are living in a ‘strange land’: Joseph in Potiphar’s house, Daniel in Babylon, or Esther in the palace. Read or watch stories of Christians who stood out among the crowd, like Corrie Ten Boom. Wonder what it was like for them, even though they knew God was with them.  Was it easy standing out from the crowd?  What helped them?

God’s love is a safe place when we are hurt

It’s easy to be hurt by or on social media, and we can help our children know that God’s love is the place they can find the strength to face their bullies or their own fears and insecurities or just to hide when the world feels hard.

Some ideas for you to explore with your children: